Time's Up

Today's pub day for my fifth novel, Expiration Date. By "pub day," I don't mean that I'll be taking my book out for a beer at the nearest Irish-themed sports-type bar. (Though that might be fun.) No, "pub" stands for "publication." Huge thanks to everyone who's pre-ordered the book, entered the St. Martin's Minotaur contest, and spread the good word. Books live or die by word of mouth, and thanks to you guys, this baby has quite a few lungfuls of air.

Remember: if you have pre-ordered, or plan on buying a copy through next Monday, send me proof of purchase via e-mail and I'll send you Sand In My Gun, a 20,000 word PDF full of DVD-style "bonus" content. It's a rare peek inside my mind, circa 1999. God help you all.

So what does an author do on pub day? Well, this morning I wrote. Answered some e-mail. Kick around some story ideas. But all of that stops in about an hour. Today's also my son Parker's eighth birthday, so we'll be taking him to see Diary of A Wimpy Kid, which apparently is some kind of grindhouse-style, bloodsoaked R-rated revenge flick. (Wait... it's what?) As proud as I am of my books, I'm infinitely prouder of my boy. And birthday trumps pub day any day of the week.

George? Dude?

"I mean, if someone nuked Philadelphia, I could have made a great zombie move [about it], but that didn't happen, so I was like, what the f**k do I do?"

--George A. Romero, in a Q&A with Chris Alexander in the latest issue of Fangoria (#292).

Only Three Days Left...

... until my fifth novel, Expiration Date, is available in finer bookstores everywhere. (Though I've heard reports of the book sneaking out into the wild a little early.)

There's still plenty of time to enter the St. Martin's Minotaur sweepstakes to win signed copies as well as original pieces of Laurence Campbell's art, straight from the book. Simply go here, click through to the promotion page, and type in your vitals. You can also download the first batch of pages from the novel, which St. Martin's will be posting in serial form over the next few weeks.

And don't forget: if you send me proof that you either pre-ordered Expiration or purchased it during its first week on sale, I'll send you a .pdf of Sand In My Gun. (More details on that here.) I'm happy to say that a ton of you have taken me up on the offer, but there's plenty of room for everybody else. Join ussssss, join usssss doooooo...

As for appearances, I've added a little box to the left, listing the various Expiration signing events I have planned. The first official signing will be at Port Richmond Books (3037 Richmond Street) in Philly, Sunday April 11 at 2 p.m. I'll have a bunch copies of the book on hand, as well as a lot of beer, so stop on by and enjoy a cold one with us.

More details on the rest of the events soon, but here's a quick rundown:

April 14: Noir Night at the Hiway Theater, Jenkintown, PA. I'll be introducing/talking about Hickey & Boggs, and signing copies of Expiration.

April 24-26: L.A. Times Festival of Books. I'll be at the Mystery Bookstore in Westwood for a party Friday night, then at their booth over the weekend.

May 1: Free Comic Book Day at Brave New Worlds in Willow Grove, PA.

June 5: Murder by the Book in Houston, TX. I'll be appearing with Victor Gischler, the madman from Baton Rouge, who will be out supporting his new hardboiled crime novel The Deputy.

June 6: BookPeople in Austin, TX. Also with Gischler. Unless he get sick of me, and ditches me somewhere out on a dusty Texas road.

Hope to see a bunch of you at one of these crazy events over the next few months.

Robert Culp, 1930-2010

I was extremely sorry to hear about the passing of actor, director and writer Robert Culp. Like most nerds my age, I first saw Culp in The Greatest American Hero, and his character "Bill Maxwell" still comes to mind when I hear the words "FBI agent." (I can't help it.) Only later would I discover and enjoy Culp in other roles, including I Spy, the famous Outer Limits episode "Demon With a Glass Hand," and of course, neo-noir classic Hickey & Boggs, which I've watched a half-dozen times over the past year. (And probably will watch again, tonight.)

Last week, when I wrote about the upcoming showing of Hickey & Boggs, I never would have dreamed that I'd be writing this post. Robert Culp seemed like one of those guys who'd be around forever, because... well, he's Robert Culp, damn it. As Bill Maxwell once said: "If you're looking for trouble, you've just come across the West Coast distributor."

Needless to say, next month's showing of Hickey & Boggs will be dedicated to Culp. I wish he could have joined us. I imagine he would have had some amazing stories to share...

The Savage Axe of... Poland?

I love the throwback, giant-sized b&w anthologies Marvel's been kicking out lately (Rampaging Wolverine, The Indomitable Iron Man). I love them even more when I have a chance to contribute something. Next month, I'm proud to say, The Savage Axe of Ares #1 will feature a 2,500-word prose story of mine called "Wojna." You can read a little more about in this Q&A with Jim Beard at Marvel.com, and hear a bit about Gregg Hurwitz's kick ass contribution as well.

It's rare that I have an excuse to sit down and write a short story, so I jumped at the chance. Hope you'll check it out April 7th.

New Marvel mini-series: Wade Wilson's War!

Yesterday, CBR.com leaked word of my first post-Cable project for Marvel: a mini-series featuring that loveable Merc With a Mouth, Deadpool. Mum's the word on the plot for now, but the solicit copy should give you a hint. Two issues ship in June, with the next installments to follow in July and August. Joining me is superstar artist Jason (Body Bags) Pearson. Just wait until you see the insanity this man has conjured up.

DEADPOOL: WADE WILSON'S WAR #1 (of 4)
Written by DUANE SWIERCZYNSKI
Pencils & Cover by JASON PEARSON
“THE MAN BEHIND THE MASK”
You’ve seen Deadpool in countless (and we mean countless) comics before — but never like this. Really. Want answers about Deadpool? Like why does he refuse to remove his weird red-and-black mask? Why does he only answer to the name “Deadpool?” Was he really part of a black bag special ops team that nobody has ever heard of? Were his teammates really given names like “Bulllseye,” “Silver Sable” and “Domino”? What did Wilson know, and when did he know it? A bloody massacre in Sinaloa, Mexico has left hundreds dead and disgraced soldier Wade Wilson has a LOT of explaining to do.
32 PGS./Parental Advisory …$3.99

Hickey. Boggs. On the Big Screen.

Last summer I went all crazy for Hickey & Boggs, the Robert Culp/Bill Cosby neo-noir from 1972. And you know? I'm still crazy for it. I've watched it a few more times over the past year, and it remains one of my favorite crime films, part of an unofficial quadrilogy of downbeat L.A. P.I. movies (the others being Night Moves, The Long Goodbye and Chinatown).

So when Ed Pettit, a.k.a. the Philly Poe Guy, asked me to kick off a new series of Philly authors introducing their favorite films, only one movie that came to mind:

The Great Muppet Caper.

No, no, I'm being silly. I'll be introducing/talking about Hickey & Boggs! Fred Kaplan-Mayer at the Hiway Theater in Jenkintown, PA even tracked down an honest-to-God print, so we'll be seeing it as nature (and Robert Culp) intended.

The event also doubles as an Expiration Date book appearance -- I'll be signing copies before and after the movie. There are other ties, too: Expiration is partially set in 1972, just like the movie. It's kind of a private eye story, just like Hickey & Boggs. And of course, it stars Philly legend Bill Cosby, which is about as Philly as you can get despite this being an L.A. neo-noir flick.

If you're at all curious about this movie, I hope you'll be able to join us. And please, spread the word. The fun starts Wednesday, April 14, at 8 p.m. at the Highway Theater, 212 Old York Road, Jenkintown, PA (215-886-9802). For more info, click here or drop me an email.

(Image from Obscure One-Sheet.)

Legends of the Underwood #21: Dean Koontz

Normally I just run a quote, but this one requires a bit of set-up.

In 1977, Dean Koontz sold a thriller called Strike Deep to Dial Press to be published under the pseudonym "Anthony North." Not long after, his editor at Dial called him with a strange request. Seems another book had dropped out of the schedule, and they needed Strike Deep to fill the slot. And they needed it in six weeks. Finished, edited, revised... all in six weeks. Koontz, being the stone cold pro, agreed, despite this being 1977, long before you could e-mail a Word doc to your editor.

As Koontz explained it to biographer Katherine Ramsland:

"So week by week I would write like the infinite number of monkeys typing away, and every Friday morning, we drove to New York, three and a half hours away. At some point before we got there, I'd pull off. Gerda would take over the car and she'd drive to Dag Hammarskjold Plaza. I'd leap out with the pages while she circled the block. I'd run into the editor's office and give him the pages and he'd give me the past week's pages with editing notes, and we'd drive home. And that day would be shot. I'd spend Saturday revising anything that had to be revised, and start the next batch. And that's the way it went until it was done."

Later, Koontz's agent asked the editor if he was interested in another Anthony North thriller. The editor said no, telling the agent he'd been disappointed in Strike Deep. When the agent pressed for more details, the editor responded: "It felt rushed."

--from Katherine Ramsland's Dean Koontz: A Writer's Biography (HarperCollins, 1997).

(Twenty-first in a series.)

Yes, This Offer Has An Expiration Date

Expiration Date is out two weeks from today, and St. Martin's Minotaur is continuing their cool online sweepstakes to win free signed copies and original art from Laurence Campbell. (What? You haven't heard of this? Go here now.)

But I wanted to offer something extra to readers who have pre-ordered their copies already, or plan to pre-order soon.

That something extra: about 20,000 words of bonus fiction and "behind-the-scenes" material.

See, I've been playing around with the central idea of Expiration Date (a time-traveling detective) on and off since 1999. I'd originally planned on Expiration being the follow-up to Secret Dead Men, which would kick-start a series of offbeat genre-blenders. What can I say? Man plans, God laughs.

The earliest surviving version, written in April 1999, is a 7,000 word sample called Sand In My Gun. It is totally and completely different from what eventually became Expiration Date. And I mean it when I say "totally" and "completely." Different characters. Different plot. Different setting. Different everything. Not a single word from Sand made it to Expiration. In fact, I didn't even look at the Sand excerpt until a few weeks ago.

And when I did, it kind of made me laugh. It's rough, and goofy, but it is kind of fun.

I also looked at the 13,000 words or so of journal entries I'd made about the novel-in-progress, and those were a revelation, too. I must have had my mind wiped in the past 10 years, because I'd remembered very little of this crazy plot I had cooked up in my tiny Brooklyn apartment.

Want a free peek at this crazy slab of premillennial almost-pulp? It's easy.

What To Do: Just e-mail me proof that you've pre-ordered Expiration Date, or purchased it during its first week of release. You pre-order from anywhere. Your favorite indie shop. Your favorite chain. Your favorite online retailer. (Yes, even that online retailer... we've kissed and made up.) Anywhere. You pick the seller. Have you already pre-ordered? No problem. (And God bless you.) You could have pre-ordered this thing back in 1972, as along as you have written proof, I'll honor it.

You can pre-order it now, or buy it the first week it's on sale, up through 11:59 p.m., Monday, April 5. UPDATE FROM FURTHER DOWN THE TIMESTREAM: The deadline has been extended to 11:59, Friday, April 9! It's not too late!

Send that proof to me at duane DOT swier AT verizon DOT net with the subject line: "I Want Sand in My Gun."

What You'll Get: On April 10th (or soon after) you'll receive an exclusive PDF copy of the Sand In My Gun excerpt, along with lengthy excerpts from my Sand journal.

Is this a piece of work that will change your life? Kind of doubt it. Is it amusing? I think so. Then again, I'm sucker for these "behind-the-scenes" type things. I love the notes in the back of Stephen King anthologies. I love that year-by-year thing F. Paul Wilson does in his collections. (I mean, for God's sake, I sat up last night and re-read David J. Schow's "Endsticks" essay at the back of his excellent Silver Scream anthology, just because it's a riot.)

This offer is good anywhere in the world, as long as you have a working e-mail account. (The ability to read English is optional.)

Offer starts... now. The clock is ticking.

Can't Wait for... The Complete Drive-In

I'm pretty sure I first read about Joe R. Lansdale's The Drive-In in Fangoria magazine back in 1988. The review made The Drive-In sound like the greatest and weirdest horror novel ever, so of course I raced to my local bookshop (the much-missed Marlo Books, in the Roosevelt Mall) to snag a copy. Only, Marlo didn't have it in stock. So for the first time ever, I placed a special order for a book. This was pre-Internet, pre 1-Click ordering, pre-everything easy. This was the mean old days, when you had to actually wait for something you wanted. So I waited. And waited. The anticipation was unreal. I started to build this novel up in my mind as the greatest and weirdest horror story I would ever read. Finally, at long last, I received a call from Marlo: The Drive-In was in! For $3.50, this slender Bantam paperback would be mine! And when I finally got it home and read it, I was stunned to discover that...

Yeah. It pretty much was the greatest and weirdest horror novel I'd ever read.

How could it not, with a subtitle like A B-Movie With Blood and Popcorn, Made in Texas? The follow-up (The Drive-In 2: Not Just One of Them Sequels) was just as fantastic, and made me a Lansdale man for life. Inventive, grisly, funny, fast-paced... this double-barrel assault of Texas-style grindhouse pulp set an impossible standard in my mind. You want a crack at the title of "greatest and weirdest"? Here are the books to beat. (If you ask me, Champion Joe still holds the title.)

And now, Underland Press is bringing out not just the first two Drive-In novels... but the hard-to-find third installment as well, in one sweet omnibus edition. Along with an intro by Don Coscarelli (Phantasm, Bubba Ho Tep) and art from a never-made film adaptation of The Drive-In. No special ordering, no waiting for the guy from Marlo Books (hi, Curt!) to finally call you. You, too, can enjoy the twisted majesty of The Drive-In...

... on May 1st.

(Hey, trust me. The anticipation is half the fun.)

My Favorite Sentences (Second in a Series)

I was taking a piss under the Hollywood sign, just underneath the second O, I think it was, and thinking about how much I loved it here above the city of angels.

From Jesse Sublett's harrowing, heartbreaking, and altogether awesome memoir, Never the Same Again: A Rock 'n' Roll Gothic (Boaz, 2004).

Legends of the Underwood #20: Nathanael West

"Nat and his fellow writers were treated like factory workers. A rookie, Nat was in over his head, but Sid [Perelman] helped him prepare a list of technical terms. His first week was spent bluffing his way through one of the company's ideas, a story set in a beauty parlor. He furiously stitched together a treatment, an eleven-page synopsis describing the characters and scenes, and by the end of two weeks completed the first draft of a shooting script. It was amazing to discover himself capable of producing four thousand words a day under pressure."

--from Marion Meade's new (and highly recommended) Lonelyhearts: The Screwball World of Nathanael West and Eileen McKenney (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2010).

(Twentieth in a series. Photo from the Lonelyhearts Facebook fan page.)

Two New Interviews

Four years ago, Ed Gorman invited me to submit a "Pro-File," his long-running series of Q&As with crime writers. Just a few days ago, Ed asked for an update, and I thought it would be fun to compare and contrast my answers. (And while you're there, definitely check out the other Pro-Files, which are uniformly excellent.)

And then over at Signs and Wonders, Rod Norman fires a series of Qs at me, and I return fire with a steady stream of As.

"Needle Case" at Significant Objects

I've contributed a (very) short and weird story to Significant Objects. The object: a creepy needle case... which can be yours, by bidding at eBay. All proceeds go to Girls Write Now, a group dedicated to mentoring young female writers.

Quick little bit of backstory to this short story (which was originally titled "help! i am trapped inside a size 34 regular in sherman oaks, california"): This has been kicking around my head for years as the start of a possible Secret Dead Men prequel... explaining how such a thing as "Brain Hotel" came into being. Who knows? Maybe someday I'll keep on going with it.

In the meantime, let the bidding begin. I'm going to match the winning bid (be it $5 or $50) with a donation to Girls Write Now, so go on. Make it interesting!

The Expiration Date Sweepstakes!

My fifth novel, Expiration Date, will be out later this month, and my publisher, St. Martin's, is holding a sweet little contest (if I do say so myself). Six lucky winners will nab a signed copy of the novel along with an original Laurence Campbell illustration from the book. Not a copy, not a printout... I'm talking about an original piece of art. There are 13 total. I have one; so does my editor, Marc Resnick. Six more are up for grabs.

To win, all you need is to have a.) Internet access and b.) air pushing in and out of your lungs. That's it. Really. Go to www.MinotaurBooks.com/ExpirationDate and fill out the form. See? Easy as falling down a rocky hillside.

Huge thanks to the generous and twisted Mr. Campbell, without whom this contest would be nowhere near as cool.